Old Advice New Advice

Old Advice, New Advice: Bar or Bat Mitzvah Planning Rules

In the past, it may have felt as though there were rules or formulas about how a Bar or Bat Mitzvah were supposed to happen, but families are now realizing that if these "have to's" doesn't work for YOUR family, don't do it. | Pop Color Events | Adding a Pop of Color to Bar & Bat Mitzvahs in MD, DC & VA

In the Mitzvah Planning Facebook groups I belong to (psst… check out the local to DC, MD & VA one), parents are constantly asking questions like “Do I have to serve cake?” or “Do I have to have a candle lighting?” or ” Do I have to have a hotel ballroom event?” In the past, it may have felt as though there were rules or formulas about how a Bar or Bat Mitzvah were supposed to happen, but families are now realizing that if these “have to’s” doesn’t work for YOUR family, don’t do it. Simple. I give you permission that…

You can do anything you want for your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah party.

Freeing? Right?

Does you child hate to dance? Don’t have dancing. Do you find candle lighting ceremonies long and boring? Skip the candle lighting. Do you hate theme-y events? Don’t have a theme. Do what works for your family and your guests, regardless of what happened at other Mitzvahs that you’ve attended. After all, you know these people the best.

What you should have at your party

While the old Bar or Bat Mitzvah rules are gone, there are a few things that you should have at your event in order to be a good host. First, food. Your guests will have been in services for awhile and many will be away from home. Give them something to eat (including the kids!). It doesn’t have to be steak, chicken or fish, but as a host, it’s your responsibly to feed your hungry guests.

Next, give guests somewhere to sit and/or put their stuff. You don’t necessarily need seating for everyone. However, there will be guests who can’t stand for long periods of time and they need a seating option. If you are serving a meal that needs to be eaten with a knife and fork, give your guests tables. Especially if you are having an event during jacket season, you need somewhere for your guests to put their belongings. It can be on the back of a chair, a coat room, a coat check or cubbies, but it will make your event space look nicer if there aren’t coats, purses or giveaway items strewn about.

Finally, important people to your family. The most important part of your event is who you share it with–friends and family. Cut what you have to so you can have all of the people you want at your event.

How to make it happen.

Do what works for your family for your Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Period. Don’t apologize. Don’t make excuses. Have the event that you want.

A planner is a great sounding board for how to make an even truly your own. Contact me for more information.

Old Advice, New Advice: Numbering Mitzvah RSVP Cards

Need a better way to number Mitzvah RSVP cards than in pencil? Pop Color Events | Adding a Pop of Color to Bar & Bat Mitzvahs in MD, DC & VA

Welcome to a new column on the blog, old advice, new advice. In this column we’ll share new ways to do old things for your event. First up, Mitzvah RSVP cards.

Old Advice

It has always been recommended that you number your guest list and place a corresponding number on a Mitzvah RSVP card, just in case your guest forgets to write their name on the card when they send it back. The old way to do it was to write the number lightly on the back of the card in pencil. But what if you decide to do postcards or simply hate the way it looks? Even if you try to be discreet with this, people still notice it and it still looks ugly on your beautiful invitation suite.

New Advice

Invisible Pens & UV Light allow you to write anything on your card anywhere and only you know where it is. You can still do the corresponding number thing or you could even write your guests’ names directly on the Mitzvah RSVP card. As you can see in the image below, the ink dries clear and then you shine a special light onto whatever you write if you need to see it. It’s completely invisible to your guests, so it keeps your invitation suite looking pristine.

A few pieces of advice

Make sure you are consistent in how you label the cards (names, numbers…) and where you label them. In case you need to use your special light, you’ll need to know what and where to look for your invisible label. Also, store the flashlight portion in a safe place that’s easy to remember. There will be quite a bit of lag time between sending out the invites and getting the response cards back, so you need to remember where you put the flashlight if you need it!

Searching for other new ideas for your Mitzvah? Contact me for a free consultation!

 

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